DO YOU KNOW how to look young?
Yes, you should hang around with very old people.

DO YOU KNOW how to make a small fortune in the stock market?
Sure, you should start with a large fortune.

DO YOU KNOW how to stop your hair from turning gray?
Sure. Go bald.

“CAN YOU NAME an animal that has eyes and cannot see, legs and cannot walk
but can jump as high as the Empire State Building?” asked someone.
Everybody racked his brains, but in vain.
“The answer is a wooden horse.”
“Yes, but does it jump as high as the Empire State Building?”
“The Empire State Building can not jump.”

“CHILDREN,” the SUNDAY SCHOOL teacher asked, “Can any of you tell me
what we must do before we get to Heaven?”
Then a kid stood up and said, “Die.”